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Category Archives: Just me rambling

Comfortable in ‘MY’ reality

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After a ‘character building’ day recently and I realised I was considering giving up until I realised what I was thinking sounded like giving up and I will

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It did made me think ‘Why’? Why did I feel different at school from everyone else? Why did I have completely different aspirations from everyone else? Why when I was in college and sent out on our first assignment (previously blogged about in – “Why am I writing this like it is going to be published) did I come back with a totally different perspective than anyone else? Why I Am the only person I know who has the interests that I have and have to find my social group Online and even though I think I Am completely like everyone else people refer to me as Spooks etc? Why Am I winding up when others are winding down?

 

Instead of giving up I decided to look for the purpose in my character building day and a couple weeks later these ‘Why’s’ aren’t bothering me now. The most important question I have now is ‘Do I care that I tend to be on a totally different wavelength and am I happy being me? And the answer to the first question is ‘No’ and the answer to the second question is ‘Yes’ so as the picture so aptly says “I Am not crazy, my reality is just different to yours”

 

 “If a man does not keep pace with his companions , perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears however measured or far away”

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I AM Changing

I may not have manifested riches or written the book I dream of doing or a lot of my dreams for that matter but I have changed and I like the changes that have occurred.

I don’t watch soap operas any more because I don’t class personal tragedy and an unbearable amount of screaming entertainment.

I don’t watch TV show’s like “The Great British Bake Off” of “Master Chef”. Not that I am saying there is anything wrong with these TV shows but for me I don’t find show’s where people strive for the approval of ‘Experts’ enjoyable and watch them be crushed by their critique.

There always seem to a buzz word in my life at any one time and currently that word is “Perception”.

I mute out TV conversation or Polls that request a debate on someone’s life etc where one person says “Your wrong, I am right” and the other person says “No I am right, your wrong” or make judgements on situations that have nothing to do with them.

The other day I watched a program about submission into the Royal Academy Summer Show in London. One person had tried repeatedly over an unimaginable amount years to be accepted by a board. A board which consisted of a panel of people and their own personal perceptions of what is ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’. ‘Acceptable’ or ‘Not Acceptable’. Another person who I felt (my perception) had a seriously good talent would only believe that they were a good artist if the RA accepted their work.

Seeing people not loving their-selves or accepting their-selves unless someone else does makes me curl up a bit inside so I zone out of these types of viewing.

I tuned into another program that had Art in the title where I saw someone crush a young hopeful artist by telling them that one of the pieces was probably the worst things they have ever seen. Again another perception but thinking about the different types of Art I have seen in my time in the most famous art galleries in the world another person’s perception maybe that, this is the best piece of art they have ever seen but maybe too late. Because this young hopeful artist has been told it is the worst thing ever viewed their confidence may have been crushed and they may never produce another piece of art again and what could have been a promising career is no longer due to one persons perception.

I have let opportunities go because I lacked confidence in my ability and I held other people’s perceptions and opinion in my work higher than my own.

No longer !! And I credit my change in ‘Perception’ by finding and reading the book ‘The Secret’ and all the material I have read and listened to since.

I am literally a different person. A happy, grateful, calmer, relaxed, almost fearless person – bonus !!

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It’s all a matter of perception

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Perception has been my buzz word this week.

Someone I know despite me trying to cheer them up and see the blessings in situations surprise surprise always has a new terrible tragedy to relay recently told of someone they knew who has had a life changing challenge to face literally over night and discussed their incredible attitude towards the situation. Despite it happening to the other person who was being proactive and has to live with the situation my friend was becoming emotional and upset at the thought of it happening to their friend and as they relaid what they had they said to their friend it was almost like they were trying to talk their friend round to their way of thinking and see it as something tragic instead of facing it in their positive manner like doing that was the most ridiculous thing possible.

This reminded me of who my  heroes are. My Hero’s are:

Viktor Frankl for despite being imprisoned in two of the most horrendous concentration camps in history Auschwitz and Dachau and losing his family in these camps chose to believe despite the most inhuman or painful a situation there was always meaning in it and in life.

Another Hero is Martine Wright who see’s losing her legs in 7/7 a blessing because without this happening she wouldn’t have been able to compete in the 2012 Olympics and I was also very inspired similarly by watching a TV program where a man whose name I do not have to hand but I have written about previously lost limbs in Afghanistan and found a love of cycling that he felt wouldn’t have happened without this experience and described only having one down day because there were other people in the same hospital who hand lost both arms and both legs so he felt blessed to only have lost his legs.

I have more Hero’s. Immaculee Ilibagiza who hid in a bathroom for three months to avoid being murdered during the Rwandan Holocaust of 1995. Louis Zamperini who defied the odds and survived on a raft beyond what was classed as humanly possible because he refused to believe the statistics and then when found was imprisoned in a Japanese prisoner of war camp but still held Faith and hope and created recipes and visualized the food he would cook on his release.

And Louise Hay is my first Hero who despite experiencing  dreadful abuse used it and brought peace to millions with her books helped me in so many ways and started Hay House at 60 which inspires me everyday, it is never to late.

I see quotes on Facebook etc by people like Wayne Dyer advising how to see the beauty in things and people actually comment that people like Wayne make it sounds so easy BUT comment how can they be positive because of this, this and this and none of it they state is stopping them from being grateful is anywhere near as terrible as what some of these situations the people above went through but yet they remain victims and concentrate on how terrible their life is ….. And guess what? as The Law of Attraction states what you focus on you attract so the “vicious” circle continues.

If my Hero’s can experience these, what most people would consider as nightmare situations and come out still being positive and loving there is nothing on earth, literally nothing we have to be sad about.

It is literally a choice to perceive it as good or bad and that’s a choice we can change in a heartbeat.

 

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“Na-Nu Na-Nu”

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Just too sad to get my head around. Someone that brought me so much joy and most of my favourite films ‘Good Morning Vietnam’, ‘Dead Poets Society’, ‘Awakenings’, ‘Jack’, ‘Good Will Hunting’, ‘What Dreams May Come’ and ‘Patch Adams’ was in so much personal pain.

“Na-Nu Na-Nu” RIP on the planet Ork, Mork !!

 

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Imperfectly perfect

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The other week I watched a Super Soul Sunday where the contributor spoke of how you can get anger out of your system in 60 seconds. Just breath gently and think of something else and you can get rid of anger. It’s our choice to feel angry and we can simply just decide not to be angry. I liked this thought and have been practising it.

Making a choice about a situation and labelling it good or bad echoes what I have learnt from one of my favourite authors Greg Kuhn and another bit of Greg I like to think about while I aim to do practices of learning to enhance my personal experience is that ‘I Am Growing a Greater me’ which happens aptly to be the name of his new book, well almost its “Grow a Greater You”.

Inspiringly Greg openly admits that he to practices the advise he is giving to others and that he is not perfect and has bad days. I felt good reading that but not in a disparaging way, just that it makes me feel OK to be human and not always being on top of my game too but my greatest shock was from another Super Soul Sunday when Oprah whilst interviewing a minister openly admitted to not being able to get a handle on not getting annoyed with people who do things that frustrate her and the peace-loving minister said “Me too”. I just thought if there are two people who would have this sussed one is Oprah and the other was a God-loving man.

I am far more sorted than I have ever been in my whole life in getting a handle on being frustrated or angry but feel I am not succeeding in other areas.

Sometimes it just helps to know that people who we may assume have it all worked out still have work to do on themselves as do everyone and you may be doing far better than you assume you are and it is OK to be Imperfectly Perfect

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From this day forward there are no bad days

My life has been particularly challenging of late but every day I awake with renewed vigour and tell myself today is full of miracles however another challenge rear’s its head but at the same time materials keep appearing that support me and remind me that even successful people have challenges the difference is ……….. they don’t give up.

Despite these challenges repeatedly appearing deep down inside I feel there is a purpose and the Universe has got my back.

Yesterday I felt I should be doing one thing but was drawn to doing other stuff and then it struck me if I do what I feel I should be doing rather than what I want to do the should stuff will have negative energy attached to it and I will be transmit that out into the ether so I decided to go with what attracted me in the present moment and one of those present moment thoughts was to chill in the exceptionally unusual British summer weather in the garden with a cold drink and listen to some inspirational material on YouTube.

Instinct made me choose a video I saved a few days earlier by Les Brown and while the whole video was incredible and again advising to carry on regardless or in Les’s words “It’s not over until you win”. The other thing that struck me like a sledge-hammer was next time you are having a bad day, don’t say you are having a bad day, say you are having a character building day.

So from this day forward I only have good days and character building days, so come of life bring on your challenges cos it ain’t over until I win !!!!!!!!

 

 

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Is it collective negative consciousnesses fault ??

Yesterday prior to the start of the Tour De France I watched on TV how they literally catalogued all the Sporting downfalls suffered by the Brits this year.

Cricket to World Cup and Wimbledon.

I also read (what I have read several times before in different books) there is a possibility the Great Depression could have been avoided if it wasn’t for the collective negative consciousness at the time.

Could people focusing on fear and doubt and speculated and calculated accounts in the press only escalated the negative down turn?

As I mentioned earlier I read this a long time ago and it has always played on my mind, could our recent economic downturn been avoided if there wasn’t so much focus from the media etc ‘how we were all going to hell in a hand cart’?

The two presenters jokingly quirked how the Prime Minister David Cameron was to believed to be rocking up to the Grande Depart as all hopes were out for other events. They joked he went to the World Cup but obviously were out of that but then he went to Wimbledon but now Andy Murray is out of that so I believe he’s coming to the Tour de France.

I jeered at my TV (you know I’m not the only one …. I’m not the only one am I? Oh who cares !! any way) “Hey guys cut it out, jinx it why don’t you !!!

Well now, unfortunately it is all history and Mark Cavendish is out of the Tour De France.

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I won’t deny I am gutted but as Mark humbly refers to in his Guardian interview he has friends returning from Afghanistan or who have lost limbs so compared to that not having excruciatingly exciting sprint finishes to watch is small fry.

And there’s always next year !!

But just a warning guys because as I have read in “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen this morning “A person is limited only by the thoughts he chooses” or as T D Jakes said on Super Soul Sunday “I Am no greater than the thoughts I think”.

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So lets have a ‘Collective Consciousness of unlimited potentiality’ and believe that Everything is Possible, especially greatness in everything we put our attention on. After all it all a case of perception. Something is only good or bad because we label it that way.

 

 

 

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I am not rubbish at it !!

I get I’ve got what I’ve got by the quality of my thoughts.

I get that if I don’t like what I’ve got, change my thoughts.

I get that you have to focus on what you do want, not what you don’t want.

I get you have to imagine already having received what you want.

I get that visualization is the key.

And I get that I am rubbish at visualising

Well I thought I was, when the Universe gave me this gift.

 

If you can visualise and orange you can visualise Everything

 

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Thank you Toilet

Thank you Toilet

Happiness is not an outside thing, it’s an inside thing.

Happiness is a choice we make regardless of our circumstances.

Whilst I sat in our car as my partner got fuel I looked up at the variety of beautiful trees opposite and their fantastic equally varied foliage flowing in the wind and I felt very relaxed and grateful. So grateful it was a trigger for me to say thank you for all the things I could think of in that moment I was grateful for.

My eyesight to see this beautiful seen and appreciate the gorgeous summers day, thank you health, thank you mobility, thank you car for enabling us to travel through beautiful countryside and picturesque towns and villages, thank you for all the beautiful people in my life and who I come into contact with and on and on and on.

Shorty after my partner got back in the car. He’s a self employed skilled trades made and had to contact a friend that he was currently helping to renovate his home to say he wouldn’t be able to make it to their house today (Saturday) and how frustrated he knew he’d be.

My partner said he would try to make it today (Saturday) after giving him a day during the working week because he got so demanding that he needed him there like, yesterday to do this job and as it was my partner was unable to do anything on arrival because another trade that was required before my partner could do his work had not completed their work so wasted journey wasted day and as it was my partner was going to try to go at the weekend but he had to complete the job he had to put on hold for his demanding friend and couldn’t see himself achieving both.

My partner began to relay how his ‘friend’ was really annoyed because he needed his toilet downstairs working.

I inquired ‘does he have another toilet?’ And he replied ‘Yes, two but he’s fed up of having to keep walking upstairs!’ – “Seriously?” I replied .

My partner continued to tell me varying tales of his attitude towards people working for him or helping him, including very close relatives. Very rude, ungrateful attitude.

I expressed my personal feeling that this person seems to have lost touch with reality and could do with getting some perspective. He is currently renovating a very large house (with three toilets) yet all he seems to be doing is focusing on the negative and moaning. He has a lot in my eyes, more than most and yet by focusing on all the negatives, what good is it doing him.

We are not wealthy in some ways (obviously I need to work on that area) but I remind myself when I think about our kitchen that is falling apart and our partly completed renovated house (with one toilet, upstairs. Maybe that’s why I am so mobile? So I am grateful I have an upstairs toilet) that I am very lucky. I have a roof over my head. Hot and cold running water. An incredible shower (in our completed bathroom, well I am lucky enough to live with a skilled tradesman in that arena).

(And by the way I seem to like brackets today) so thank you to brackets.

I live in a country that allows me as a women equal freedom to do whatever I choose (including drive, still banned for some women in certain countries along with many other things I could take for granted). I won’t be stoned for marrying a man I love or have acid thrown in my face for dishonouring my family, or be genitally mutilated as a teenager and I have the freedom to write all of the above without being beaten or raped.

As we drove home we passed through a town busy with shoppers and I spotted a young man living in a doorway. He’d be grateful for one toilet. Later after my partner went out to complete his work I took out our gorgeous car (that I have manifested which I envisioned many years ago and my colleagues mocked when I discussed the book I was reading and what is suggested to do. Such as manifest a car, well I am driving in it now baby)

I have been listening to a Jim Rohn video on the YouTube app on my mobile phone whilst commuting, something else I am grateful for. Free use of the internet and social media to access motivational material to grow my mind and in this video Jim says “Work harder of yourself than you do at your job”

The (car) job I was in was the first job I had after many years of bringing up three children. It manifested the day after I thought ‘I could get a job now.’

It wasn’t the greatest job, peeling potatoes and onions in a freezing cold environment. When I thought I would like to move on from that job to a more emotionally sound situation another job manifested. Ten years later as if by accident I have gone from peeling potatoes to very well educated in many skills and in my third managerial role.

I haven’t manifested all my dreams yet but I must have been working ok on myself with all the books etc I have read and listened too.

I digressed but what I was going to say was whilst out driving I came to a junction and waiting for a gap in the traffic I saw a man sat in a wheelchair whilst next to him was, probably his son painting a garage door and I thought after many years working within the care industry (after peeling potatoes) ‘I bet this man would like to go to the toilet with dignity and without the aid of equipment and possibly the help of another human being and our ‘friend’ feels hard done by because he has to walk upstairs to his two other toilets.

He has a gorgeous house etc etc and he his moody with a bad attitude to others and the man I gave ten pounds to in a door way the other evening who was a gift to meet and told me he was so happy because in two weeks he was moving in to his own place that he found after ten weeks living on the streets because after having to leave his last property he couldn’t find a landlord that would accept his beloved dog until now. He was the happiest person I’d met in a long time.

Proving you don’t have to be rich to be happy, proving you don’t have to have a lot to be happy and proving having a lot won’t make you happy.

It’s an inside job and it’s a choice.

There is always something to be grateful for in any given situation.

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My First Abstract

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Art is singing out stronger than writing at the moment. I was thinking about my first abstract and talking to my partner about it but he couldn’t remember it.

I felt sad that I had no record of it as produced it in 1998 and has long since been sold and long before the type of digital media we have today. Then yesterday I was sorting through all my art materials as my daughter has given me the privileged task of designing her wedding dress and for me to work I have to be organised.

Talking of old and new as I thumbed through old sketch books I found some fond felt sketches and instinct said photograph them with my iPad and upload them to my social media sites.

A long time ago I created a Facebook page called Ali P Positive Art but sadly admit have not contributed to it for a very long time but again instinct kicked in and said upload my pictures to their after all it is an art based social media page.

So obligingly I did and the little voice is strong today for it said “Luke I am your father” no it said look in previous work you have uploaded so I did and there was a picture of my first abstract and I still have no idea how it got there (“Hello LOA”) but now I Am Happy not sad.

 

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