When ever I aim to self improve myself or set objectives to get my life going in the direction I want it to go in I notice that most of it entails rituals or exercises or some other form of constructive step by step process.
These ideas come from books, following advise from people I admire who in my eyes are successful and doing what I want to do. People and ideas that catch my attention and I see as a sign however I have come to the conclusion I totally suck at rituals, exercises and routine.
Oh I start off with all good intentions. I write tick lists, set alerts and reminders and then life throws a curve ball. For instants several weeks ago I was feeling excited about making goal cards and putting them in my purse (wallet) to view when ever I opened my purse to purchase things and read them often. The next day I broke my ankle and leg and am practically house bound and barely opened my purse since.
The other day I came across a manifesting process that suggested that the fool-proof manifestation ritual would work if you write an affirmation a specific amount of times over a period of a specific amount of days and if you miss a day start over. I followed this process when I analysed my time and thought I had the specific amount of days free, undisturbed and on the eve of my final day my partner announced he wasn’t working to spend the day with me to take me out and spoil me (well it was my 50th birthday). At the possibility of starting my affirmation process again as if to say all my other affirmations were now null and void I thought ‘Really? Can I never manifest my dreams without following this structured process or read goal cards over and over again?’
Now I am not knocking these rituals and that they do work but I think the defining factor is probably belief and a relaxed, happy attitude in the positive realisation of their actuality.
I am reading a book about passion and purpose at the moment and while I derived it from the same source as the manifesting technique what I have realised from the book is that from the stories therein people have found their passion or purpose from a series of synchronised events not running round in circles naked under a full moon 20 times anti clockwise (though that might work but I live in the UK and might get frost bite as well and oh yeah I’ve got a broken leg 🙂 !!)
So today I have decided as Del Close says “The only rule is, there are no rules”. I am changing the terms and conditions to ……. there are no terms and conditions.
I won’t lie it has been really, really hard to hold my Faith the last few days as I tried even harder not to question why did such a terrible thing happen at the completely wrong time and during my time of trying not to reflect it did creep into my awareness that when I make a special declaration or work hard on changing old negative thought forms instead of things improving something majorly negative happens. I made one of these kinds of actions when my accident happened the very next day ironically shortly after saying the affirmation “I Am happy, healthy and wealthy” several times before raising that morning.
Acknowledging this observation made it very hard to want to focus on my dreams or goals and definitely not pursuing them. Accepting my lot seemed the only option and then I made a decision two days ago to have a ‘Let Go Let God’ day. I just wasn’t going to put any pressures on myself to do, be or have anything and just follow my instincts and follow any nudges.
At the end of yesterday as I went to sleep, I fell into a satisfied slumber. At one point in the day still feeling disbelieving but following intuition and reading a favourite authors latest blog post about seeing signs I had the thought “I want a sign” and not only that I wanted it in a specific way. I was still disbelieving in its ability and boy did I get what I asked for in a massive way in an amazingly short space of time. It seems so unbelievable I am not even going to detail it. I just know it happened and it renewed my Faith in the Universe.
Early in to the day today, I got the nudge to make today a LGLG day and I have followed the nudges and I have been led to even more amazing pieces of information and wrapped up within the information was the quote below.
“Every great work, every big accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement.” – Florence Scovel Shinn
I have been truly reminded that God’s delays are not God’s denials regardless of outside appearances and I have been infused with the idea to make every day a LGLG day.
I am grateful for all the words I have read by the amazing authors over the last 15 years or so since being handed Susan Jeffers “Feal the Fear and Do It Anyway”
My circumstances may not have changed much on the outside but over the past few days I have come to learn I have definitely changed mentally because if I had to face what I have faced before reading the books I have read and more so since reading ‘The Secret’ in 2010 I would have been an emotional puddle right now.
Two days ago my partner and I were meant to fly to Jamaica for a dream holiday and my daughters wedding but instead it is 5am as I write this and I am laying in bed after having surgery following breaking my leg in three places just by carrying out such a mundane task as carrying out the trash.
Yes I was heart broken and in devistating disbelief at first with the multitude ofconnotations. Missing such a presious time, not being there for my daughter, depriving her of my partner giving her away, not being able to continue temporarily with the course I have been training for, loss of income etc however despite going through these feelings almost instantaneously I felt there must be a purpose and I have met twi people in unexpected circumstances who have asked me the same question and I have constantly reminded myself nobody has died and there are people far worse off.
I have also noticed crazy amounts of Little LOA’s in action as I call them when I see the Law of Attraction at play in my life. One being, I have recently thought how nice it would be to have a swanky camper van and having the time luxury to travel to see numerous amazing places and as we are traveling to the hospital yesterday morning shortly before arriving we follow a brand new swanky camper van with ‘LOA’ in the registration place 😀.
There was a possibility of permanent nerve damage following the op and I sensed anxiety in the staff as more and more time passed and I couldn’t move my toes or feel their touch and I began to feel it rise in me but refusing to be ruled by fear because I feel that subconscious fears may have been a contributor to my situation. At 3am I Asked for the ability to move my toes and went to sleep making positive statements regarding my health and I woke an hour later with this little piggy going wee wee wee all the way home.
I then chose a Bob Proctor meditation from my YouTube app to aid me to sleep and instead of making me sleepy it has inspired me to think “The Only Way is Up”
Maybe this time recuperating I will finally write my book and start to make artwork again.
I have definitely had a peak and trough week. No violins required but just a brief description of where this is going. I am at a point now that I am wet myself with excitement.
A few weeks ago I was watching the UK Voice TV program and Boy George made a comment on the lines of ‘pursuing music as he was literally unemployable’. That comment stuck with me. I have always wanted to be self-employed even as a teenager and at that point I had already made that decision to train for something that allows this possibility but it did make me think what is it about me that always goes into a job and shortly after needs to leave? Usually because I cannot tolerate certain types of people and their behaviours.
My first blog posts are about being a child and feeling the freak, the outsider. Having totally different aspirations than my peers. My first project at college where I returned to the class room with a totally different perspective than those peers.
I am at that point again where I am finding it hard to accept certain people’s behaviours and this week I was sat in a room where once again I felt completely alien to the majority of the participants.
On the day I got interviewed for this job I am in now it had a very strange turn of events as it usually does when you make a decision and the Universe conspires. My then boss who I had a good relationship with and who was also unhappy in their role asked me if I was looking for another job? I replied “I thought we all were?” (we, meaning our other colleague we shared the department with). They too then made a comment that stuck with me and has risen many times since “Don’t sell yourself short. You are very intelligent and amazing at what you do. I understand you need to look for a new role but don’t undervalue yourself that’s all I am saying”.
Unbeknown to them I had already turned down an interview for that morning which shortly after I found an email asking was it date and time and they could be flexible and I got interviewed that evening as the interviewers were down from London and had to travel back the following day.
At the time I was looking for a new role I was listening to Louise Hay every morning and I was imagining the types of jobs I would like, little details it would have and I received all of them but I clearly hadn’t thought about it detail enough looking back now and that is why I have often recalled the ‘Don’t under sell yourself comment’. I was so clearly desperate to get away from some of the 1970’s attitudes I was up against I didn’t think it through enough and I take full responsibility for where I currently am but at the same time I know it will be all ok and I constantly thank the lessons and the people I find arbitrary as gifts to ensure I do not stay in a comfort zone and keep moving towards my goals and dreams.
I mentioned that the week has had peaks and it has had a lot of peaks. I have been listening to Bob Proctors Born Rich program on YouTube that I have saved into my account from the Proctor Gallagher Institute channel. I have acquired the companion workbook and inspired by goal cards ordered some sleeves off of eBay of the like to create name badges for businesses etc and downloaded an app that you can add text to and found inspiring background pictures and added the text of my goals. I can now carry these cards everywhere and look at them often.
Last night I was watching the final of The Voice UK when Paloma Faith made an analogy that knocked my socks off. In the trough times I have questioned why do I so often feel the outsider? When I was at college that first project was to go out in to the environment and analyse what we saw and bring it back for a discussion group. As the Tutor went around the group I began to panic inside. I was un-confident and terrified to speak at the best of times but as I listened to my peers give descriptions of the devastation of man I was confused. I saw a different picture. I saw a picture of hope and despite whatever humans throw at the environment it finds a way to break through like moss on street signs and weeds through tarmac and there it was again that look from my peers as I expressed my findings, the outsider again. Eventually my whole finals at University revolved around us constantly rushing around and failing to see the simple beauty in the world and to try to encourage people to take time to stop and see that weed etc and appreciate it.
I have always been drawn to people like Boy George (who I thought had the most gorgeous eyes when I first saw him on Top of The Pops) Will i Am and Paloma Faith and what Paloma said that knocked my socks off was in describing an act that had just sung ‘In life in this concrete juggle we are all rushing through our lives all the time and some times you walk on the pavement and people are stepping over things growing out of the cracks and these things some people think are weeds butI will stop and look at them and think wow nature took over and those are beautiful flowers’ and Paloma felt the artist that had just sung was that beautiful flower sticking out the crack in the pavement.
Shortly after this heart stopping moment Boy George, my teenage hero took the same act to see Cyndi Lauper. I was transported back to being a teenager and reminded how much Cyndi’s song “True Colours’ meant to me as I sat alone in my room night after night.
This morning as I woke, I lay in bed and remembered that thing you have in smart phones where you demand it to do something for you when you are to lazy to use your fingers and stated find me True Colours by Cyndi Lauper. Without my glasses on I tapped at what I thought was True Colours and actually was ‘Time after Time’.
As I listened to the lyrics after such a long time I realised this could be an analogy of the Universe. No matter what you had planned that you didn’t follow through with. No matter where you are or what you are going through – “If you’re lost, you can look and you will find it. Time after time. If you fall I will catch you. I will be waiting. Time after time.
Realising my accident (or was it) I immediately downloaded “True Colours”
“You with the sad heart don’t be discouraged .It’s hard to take courage in a world full of people you can lose sight of it all and the darkness inside you can make you feel so small but I see your true colors shining through and that’s why I love you so don’t be afraid to let them show”
“If this world makes you crazy and you have taken all you can bear, you call me up because you know I will be there”
Listening to Paloma and Cyndi this is why I got pants wetting excited. When I can’t seem to find the right job, tolerate peoples ugly behaviours, feel like and outsider in a room full of people there is nothing wrong with me I am just in the wrong job for me and in a room of different types of people than myself that is not the right environment to show my true colours and if the decisions I have made in the past haven’t allowed me to show my true colours, it’s OK because the Universe is waiting for me time after time.
So I am calling up the Universe and I know that now I have made a decision it will conspire to make it happen
I haven’t posted recently because I have been flat out investing in myself and using every spare moment.
I am currently employed but retraining to gain a skill and qualification to enable me to do something in a self-employed capacity and this is only a facilitation to the next step.
As long as I am breathing I shall be learning and growing.
I have been getting up early to study my books and to take my tests before embarking on my current paid job and meeting my Trainer in the evenings and at weekends.
My Trainer told me this week he had not known another candidate in his time of Training who had progressed as much as me at this point in the syllabus which just goes to show if you want something, anything bad enough it is possible.
On the drive home this song came on the car stereo. I was already buzzing but this heightened the intensity.
I thought ‘ahh this is a good one for a song list’ and it made me think. I wonder how much listening to Happy Music contributes to raising my vibration to a level that enables me to attract so much goodness in to my life?
If you have read my other posts you will know I have a habit of listening to YouTube and inspirational videos as I commute, travel, shop. An idea I stole from Ali Brown and I was listening to a Bob Proctor video the other day about becoming anything you desire and sometimes the information you already know packaged in a different way with a new eye catching bow, grabs you attention.
It was actually a guest speaker on the video who talked about this all prevailing energy that we have in this Universe which I have no doubt exists and the speaker said “This energy is everywhere 100% of the time and if it is everywhere 100% of the time it is in you 100% of the time.” Now I have read many times about going within, the power in you etc, etc but to hear it is in us 100%, 100% of the time. Really struck me. Yes, yes !! Available to call on whenever, where ever I need it to assist me in anything and everything I require. To facilitate the next step and the next and the next. What have we really got to fear? Really ???
What would give you such a good feeling of total ecstasy?
Have you asked yourself that lately. Are you living it? If not, what’s stopping you?
My WordPress appears to be having a ‘Brain Fart’ Sorry heard that analogy recently and it tickled my sense for humor 🙂
I nearly didn’t do a happy song list today due to what I have just mentioned as my WordPress appears to be publishing some of my lists on random days that don’t relate to pub date and made me question should I continue?
However I have had some likes to recent published lists so I thought I will continue as I ‘like’ the thought that the music I hear and like may have a positive effect on someone else. I was also aware that I may not always have the time to write a post everyday as I have a busy time coming up. I also hear songs in the car etc that make me happy and are not necessarily from the first three of the day which is having the habit of duplicating anyway so I might randomize the list and the subject.
For instance due to an unforeseen sequence of events my partner and I ended up in a Frankie & Benny’s on Saturday night and they were playing quite loud Motown and 50’s music and it made me think how many Happy songs there were in the 50’s ie:
and reminded me that while I respect the artists for their vocal talent a lot of the music I hear in the car can be quite negative and spend a lot of time station hopping to find something more joyful or I opt for my ‘if all else fails’ that I have on a CD permanently in the car =
and while I was youtubing Tutti Frutti I came across this that made me smile and bring back happy memories of watching Elvis films with my dad
Kindness extended, received or observed beneficially impacts the physical health and feelings of everyone involved
Be aware that unkind thoughts weaken, and kind thoughts strengthen, your connection
both taken from Wayne Dyer’s “The Power of Intention”
Good No.1 song to start the day with but not a wanna jump out of bed song. Just wanna wallow song. No.2 soon stopped that and No. 3 awesome !!!!
No. 1 = Crowded House – Don’t Dream it’s Over
However much it seems that your goals are never going to fulfilled ‘Don’t Dream it’s Over’ because – There is freedom within. We all have a power house inside us that the majority to forget to tap into. What dream are you going to ask for assistance with.
No. 2 = Eddie Cochran – C’mon Everybody
Perfect song to start the weekend and get the energy pumping – wooh (I love that bit)
No. 3 = Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now
Don’t stop me now I am having such a good time (with my air guitar)
Whatever you’re doing this weekend I hope you are travelling at the speed of light towards what makes your energy feel supersonic 🙂
The other day I wrote about being reminded to look out for the gifts as we rush around. This is what I spotted on the ground as I went to enter a building.
You may think this is just a rubber band but to me I saw a love heart. A message from the Universe saying:
A lot of my happy songs are energetic or with powerful lyrics or both and sometimes they are just cream on my soul. Today is a mixture of both
No. 1 = Style Council – Speak Like a Child
When ever I hear anything Style Council my whole body just goes- ahhhhhhh
No. 2 = Stevie Wonder – Signed, Sealed, Delivered
When I hear Stevie’s voice on the intro I get goosebumps
No. 3 = Hazel O Connor – Decadent Days
I was (still am) always attracted to the strangely weird and wonderful like Hazel O Connor and David Bowie (RIP). The Universe through a little LOA in after I heard this song because I forgot that I had it and it hadn’t played on shuffle and it mentally took me down a trip down memory lane and wondered what happened to Hazel and then shortly after I had a quick peek on social media and there was Hazel on Facebook coming to a venue near me.
Law of Attraction Lover 