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My First Ever Regret

08 Sep

  

  

Long before I learnt of self-help books or The Law of Attraction or amazing people like Louise Hay I thankfully was able to look at every painful experience in my life and be able to be grateful.

I was able to look at the events and evaluate if I hadn’t gone through that I wouldn’t have that or learnt that or experienced that or grown into the person I AM to today so when talking to people about their experiences I would say “I do not have any regrets, I am glad I had that experience because …………………”

Learning about ‘The Law of Attraction’ in 2010 (at the time of one of most painful experiences) and all the books and audio’s etc I have listened to since have only enhanced my ability to see gifts wrapped in sandpaper as Lisa Nichols would say however over the last few days I am truly struggling to get a handle on my current experience and find the gift or try to convince myself I am not full of regret.

Despite my inability deep, deep, deep down there is an inner knowing that I Am being Divinely Led.

In January this year I was laying in bed when I received an email that Wayne Dyer was coming to London in October 2015.

“Oh, oh, oh” I chirped !!

My partner asked what was it?

“Wayne Dyer is coming to London. He is my most favouritest author. I have more books by Wayne than any other author and he is truly the most effective person I have read. I would just love to see him”

Surprisingly my partner replied negatively saying what was the point. It didn’t work. Asking questions like if it works, Where was my money? Why was I in a job I hated? etc, etc?

This was not a normal response from him and it hurt me physically both by the voracity of his words and there contents.

He’s very money driven and when I apply for a job it is always what’s the salary, have you asked for a pay rise and for evidence reasons to know something is working he needs to see things NOW, now, now or it isn’t working.

Despite not having the current evidence in his eyes I knew like I knew that I am the ‘Master of My Fate’. I had already had so many experiences that we are literally the creators of our own realities that everything else I desire and usually far, far better was non-physical and would be physical in no uncertain terms.

However I am currently physical with as well as non-physical and annoyance raised in me. I was determined to go and secretly treated myself to a late Christmas present ticket.

Now I am not usually a secretive, deceitful person but due to the conversation and the circumstances that I bought my ticket I never found the right moment to say that I had bought a ticket etc then the Universe played it’s part and as part of my new job (that I love) Training that I was meant to be going to next week had been cancelled and there was an available date in London on October 1st. The date I had booked annual leave to see Wayne. Initially I declined but then instinct said ‘Wow there Tiger’ and I back tracked.

I journalled at the amazingness of the Universe. I could travel to London with work, do the Training and then see Wayne Dyer in the evening and as October drew closer I was getting so excited at the prospect of being in the same room as this amazing man and experience the energy.

I was in London at the weekend when I dipped into Facebook just before going to sleep after an amazing experience of spending the evening at the top of the Shard watching the sun go down and the lights come on. I was in rapture of how blessed I am in my life, of another experience to tick off my ‘Live List’ and then my heart stopped in disbelief.

No this cannot be real. What I am reading. I knew I had to read it again but at the same time I didn’t want to because that would make it real while right now it was a misunderstanding. But no it was true. Our beloved teacher had passed. So close, so, so, so close but now not even far. Impossible.

At this present time it is hard to comprehend how I have gone through, I believe Divinely led experiences to achieve being able to see Wayne Dyer to now not being able to feel this mans wonderful presence and how I cannot regret not being able to have that experience.

Probably like most people I have committed to rereading Wayne’s books and watch the film The Shift again to add value to my life even more and live on purpose but I feel bereft. I feel like I was about to have a catch up with an old friend and that has been snatched away from me. When I hear Wayne’s voice I feel physical pain in my chest and tear up. Because I never actually told my partner I had bought my ticket and I am feeling this way I am experiencing my grief alone.

I don’t like being deceitful and don’t intent to do it again and I will have to share my truth soon as I have received an email that they are still holding the event as a Tribute to Wayne Dyer and Anita Moorjani is going to one of the guest speakers whose wonderful book “Dying to Be me” I read as a recommendation by Wayne and I have already booked my Hotel room to attend and I want to be able to share that experience.

Social media is full of just how a profound effect Wayne Dyer had on so many with all the tributes that it contains and one of the things I read that struck me most was reading that Wayne is with all of us now, all at once, all of the time.

Since learning of his passing some very strange Wayne Dyer related synchronicites have happened that have literally given me goosebumps like I have never experienced before and I have witnessed the pattern emerging. The mention of Maslow’s Higheracy of needs popping into the most random of conversation being one of them and if you have read Wayne Dyers books you’ll realise the relevance and these little things make me smile and remind me how miraculously the Universe works and that we are all truly connected, truly one.

Since starting this post I read how Wayne’s daughters recently drove his car and ‘I can see clearly now’ came on the radio. I felt like mentioning my observations but hesitated thinking I was reading to much into it and then I saw this picture 

  
Thank you Wayne.

Like most people I have decided to read Wayne’s books once more and the other night I watched ‘The Shift’

I took two things away that I agreed with myself to adopt every day

  1. Let go and let God
  2. Ask ‘How may I serve’

Thank you our Master, Our Teacher. I Am grateful that I lived in your time even if I didn’t physically meet you.

 

 

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